Dear Men! Women Too Have Strong Sex Drive Like You !
By Er.Yazhmozhi
02 January, 2015
Countercurrents.org
Every day, we are witnessing reports of sexual violence against women. What we witness is only some of the instances which are brought out by media and some in the form of lawsuits. We also know that these instances are idiotically justified by saying that, “Men have strong sexual desires! So they are easily aroused by womenwith‘anti-traditional’ wear.This myth “Men have strong sexual desires!” is believed worldwide. This is one of the social constructs in a patriarchal society to subjugate women.
MYTHS PREVAILING IN A PATRIARCHAL SOCIETY (ALMOST ALL COUNTRIES):
• Almost all men and women think that it is always the duty of a man to initiate sex. The ‘first move’ is always a man thing.
• Men always teach about sex and initiate it in a relationship; Women are receivers.
• It is only a prostitute (woman) who knows about sex. Rest of the women who are brought up in a normal family shouldn’t know these stuffs.
• Men have more sexual desires and feelings than women.
• Monogamy doesn’t suit men. As men have more creative sexuality, they expect variations in sex from various women.
• “Men need sex! Women need intimacy and love in a relationship!” This is the reason why men pay for sex.
These are very bad and stupid sexual myths ingrained in the brains of men and even women in a society designed by patriarchy and “security guards” of culture. The aim of this article is to re-examine these myths and to know the hidden scientific facts behind the physiology and psychology of womenwhich will be a paradigm shift for sure.
Scientifically speaking, “Men and women have equal sexual desires and women do have strong sex drives as men”. As women have been taught by culture and patriarchy to control their desires (in whatever form), they feel reluctant to express them. It is not that the intensity of desires is less.The sad part is that “this social construct has blinded researchers too to examine the first move which existed in the animal kingdom and have given us such wrong facts stated above”, says Daniel Bergner.
BERGNER’S FACTS:
“What Do Women Want? Adventures in the Science of Female Desire”, a book written by Daniel Bergner speaks with a voice that even radical feminists don’t dare to. Daniel Bergner has completely shattered all the myths prevailing in sex. It is to be noted that Daniel Bergner is the recipient of Overseas Press Club Award for international reporting and a Lettre-Ulysses Award for the art of reportage. This book is based on the research works of many social scientists, psychologists and sexologists. It has also revealed many research results obtained from Plethysmograph, a device which optically measures the sexual arousal of women. The stupid gender inequalities with regard to sex have emerged due to the fact that men stick to the sexual scripts written by them (men). This book has broken all these idiotic myths and the highlight is that it has proved that men and women are equal with regard to sexual desires too.
Women's sexual desire – its inherent range and innate power – is an underestimated and constrained force, even in 21st century. According to Bergner, the concept of monogamy may be less suited for women too if there existed a society with gender equality.
RESULTS OF SOCIO-SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH:
Women have very strong sex drive than we think, ie. Women want more sex as men do. This has been brought into light by Plethysmograph. Many believe that women’s lust is always strongly bounded to love and intimacy. This is purely a myth. The social construct, “Women are delicate” has made everyone to believe that Women need love and there is nothing scientific in it. Scientifically speaking, heterosexual men and women need both love and sex. The proportions are equal for both men and women.
From a social perspective, it is very hard for a woman to express her sexual desires and feelings, because it is considered as the most despicable thing. I would like to explain this with an illustration. During the most goofy and worst cultural event termed as “FIRST NIGHT” which happens in most of the arranged marriages, a friend (girl) of mine told her husband that, “I know everything about sex scientifically and I have read about that too”. The next second she faced a series of questions from him with a doubtful tone. The questions he raised are as follows: - “How dare you can know all these? Do you know them theoretically or…Do you have practical experience too?” She said to me that, “I was seriously startled by his questions andI never used to speak about sex to him”. But the fact is majority of the men may have practical experience before they marry a girl as they have the facility to pay for sex. Men in countries like India which is overflowing with security guards of culture expect their spouse to say “I don’t know anything about sex”. It is this expectation designed by patriarchy which gives him the guts to raise such questions and do whatever to a woman. The same social construct is making her remain silent too. The truth is, “Women too have strong sexual desires, but they are not allowed to express them.” This silence from women has created the myth that men have strong sexual feelings and they are easily aroused.
There lies a dominant value in the society with regard to sex that women should receive from men, which has pushed them to a situation to receive anything though they like it or not. This is the reason why women face a lot of domestic sexual violence. The truth brought out by BBC “Once every five minutes an incident of domestic violence is reported in India, under its legal definition of cruelty by husband or his relatives” stands as an evidence for this.
From a scientific perspective, gender has no role to determine creativity in sex too. Men should express that creativity; that is masculinity. Though women have such creativity and wish to have something, they shouldn’t express it; that is feminity. The notions of masculinity and feminity are responsible for such differences in creative sexuality too.
We live in a society constructed by worst patriarchy where in men can’t tolerate women’s talent and administrative skills and their contribution to the society. Can men and the “security guards” of culture tolerate that women too have strong sexual desires and sex drive? Can men handle it? I know that most of your answers will be a big “NO”. Because you can no more say that I am aroused by her dress for a rape, as women have never made such attempts.This is high time (21st century) for us to accept the scientific fact that gender has no role to play with sexual desires and arousal.
Researchers say, “It is always good for heterosexual persons to share everything (likes and dislikes with regard to sex too) to maintain a healthy relationship”.
Bergner has raised the question, "What do women want sexually. Can men really tolerate if this question is answered by a woman?” The reason behind Bergner’s question is to ensure that sex is also a part when we speak about gender equality.
Periyarists and radical feminists working relentlessly to eradicate gender inequalities should come forward to view that sex is also one of the dimensions of gender inequality. Bergner has proved that men and women have equal sexual desires. Let us strongly establish the saying, “Except bodily structure, there is no asymmetrical difference between men and women” of social scientist Periyar with regard to sex too and eradicate all sexual, domestic violence!
This article is written by Er.Yazhmozhi, gold Medalist in Bachelor of Engineering specialized in Computer Science. I was consistent Performer securing 5thrank in Anna University Examinations. I am an active participant in other social activities too. I am currently in the editorial team of Kaattaaru, a monthly magazine which covers socio-political and cultural issues in the society. Mail: - [email protected]
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