The New Emperor's New Clothes: A Fairy Tale For Adults
By Mary Metzger
02 May, 2014
Countercurrents.org
Vladimir grew up in an ancient city built by a great emperor named Peter. His Mama and Papa were not well, and so Vladimir was poor and his life was hard because he had no one to protect him from the bad boys in the neighborhood. Perhaps just for that reason, he grew up feeling he had to protect not just himself, but also his family and his friends, his city and his country.
For long as he could remember, his country, and so his city and his family and friends, had been threatened by a giant Emperor from the West whose name was Americus. Americus was very big and strong, and when anyone disagreed with him, or did not give him what he wanted, he threw great balls of fire at them, and with great pride and joy watched the people burn. For hundreds of years the people of the world suffered so badly from his flames, that they became submissive. Of course, not all of them were submissive: some very small people raised up rocks and sticks, and ran in different directions so the fire could not find them; others tried to build fires of their own to throw at Americus, but none succeeded in toppling him from power.
The one who came the closest was Joseph, the emperor of Vladmir's own country. He urged his people to build great fires and to build rockets that would carry the fires across the great sea and land them at Americus's feet. When he could do this, he raised up his hand and said "You can dominate us no more Americus, no more." And Americus was afraid of Joseph's fires and so instead he sent a secret army of wizards to Joseph's empire, and they put terrible curses on the people to make them suffer. They even put a curse on Joseph to make him mean and evil, and another, to make him die.
When Joseph died, other emperors followed, and they used the fires and rockets that Joseph had the people build, to protect their empire. But in the end, the spells and curses of the wizards were too strong, and the empire crumbled, and Americus began preparing himself to enter and rule the land that had once been Peter's. Before he did so though, he wanted to cloak himself in great beauty....in robes woven from pure gold and a crown made of white diamonds, and blue sapphires and red rubies. So he ordered his richest subjects to provide him with these things. But the rich men were greedy; that was after all, how they had become so rich. They were too greedy to spend their money on the Emperor's new clothes. Instead, they hired legions of workers at very low wages to pretend they were making the emperors robes and crown. He would come every day for his fitting and remove his old clothes and stand in front of the mirror, and the workers would pretend they were measuring and sewing and making, but really, there was nothing in their hands.. The Emperor was naked.
But Americus was old now and thought to himself, "Ah my eyes are weak and I must not let the world know how weak I have gotten". So he pretended that he saw what he did not see, and the farce went on. When he put on his "clothes" for the first time to strut like a peacock before his own people, no on dared say a word. The wizards and warlocks had the magical power to hear their voices and know their thoughts so that if anyone even dared to hint that the Emperor was not just naked, but also insane because he did not know he was naked, they were imprisoned, or tortured, or put to death. So the people just watched the emperor strut around, his genitals swaying, his skin hanging, his fat behind bouncing, and no one dared to think or say anything about it.
By then Vladimir was a grown man with children of his own. Among the people of his country, he was famous for his strength, for his loyalty to them, for his fearlessness, but above all, for his intelligence. And so, just as Americus was preparing for his victorious entry into the realm that had once been Joseph's, the people brought Vladmir to power. He was not yet an emperor, but he was a leader.
When Americus walked before his people naked for the first time, Vladimir could not believe his eyes. He saw his nakedness; how ridiculous he was and more importantly, how old and weak and sickly he had become. The other Emperors of the world, who understood that if they wanted to rule, needed to keep Americus happy, clapped and cheered when Americus passed through their kingdoms on the way to enter Valdimir's land. But Vladimir laughed at him and at them. "Can't you see: he is naked, he has no clothes." At first, everyone pretended they had not heard him. But as Americus came closer, Vladimir shouted loudly enough for all to hear: "You are naked; you have no robes, and anyone who looks at you can see you are old and weak and full of decay. Great cancerous growths feed off you, you are swollen from your own self indulgence, and you legs can no longer carry your weight. You are nearly blind, and your heart is so weak it can hardly pump life into you." Americus heard this, and roared...."I will throw fire at you until you and your people beg for mercy." But Vladimir was not afraid; not at all. For he had his own fire that fed incessantly from the magic liquid that lay beneath the land of his country. "I will send my wizards to turn your people against you." But Vladmir did not worry, for when he was young he had spent long years learning the secrets of wizardry, and so had himself become the most power wizard in the world.
Americus, looked at Vladimir and hesitated. He cast his eyes across the land where Vladimir stood and saw the huge fires burning, ready and waiting to attack him. He looked at Vladimir and saw in his face his strength and intelligence, how calmly he stood there. When Americus looked into Vladimir's eyes he felt the power of his wizardry, and he trembled. Then he noticed that Valdimir was dressed in a robe of pure gold, and that on his head he wore a crown made of diamonds, and rubies and sapphires, and he knew, that Vladimir had become the new Emperor of the world. He knew too, that he was naked, but he was not ashamed because he did not have the sense to be ashamed. Instead he turned away and before he left, hurled one last epitaph at Vladimir: "I will turn the other emperors against you." But the Emperors did not do his bidding this time; instead, they came one by one, the kings and the one great queen who was the most powerful of them all, to tell Vladimir how beautiful his new clothes were.
I am an American expat living in Moscow, Russia. I am a freelance writer. I am currently an Instructor at the Institute for Physics and Technology, where I teach Critical Thinking
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