Iraq

Communalism

US Imperialism

Peak Oil

Globalisation

WSF In India

Humanrights

Economy

India-pak

Kashmir

Palestine

Environment

Gujarat Pogrom

Gender/Feminism

Dalit/Adivasi

Arts/Culture

Archives

Links

Join Mailing List

Submit Articles

Contact Us

 

Living In The Shadow Of Aids

By Florence Namukwaya

The Guardian
01 December, 2003

My name is Florence Namukwaya and I am 19 years old. Our parents died of HIV/Aids: my mother died in 1989 when I was five and my father died two years later. After my mother died I went to live with my brother, who died in 1996. I don't know how old he was when he died. I think he was in his 30s. I stayed with his wife but she died the following year. After that, I went to live with my paternal grandmother.

I have lost six of my brothers and sisters through Aids, and two sisters through an accident, so now there are only two of us left. I remember my brothers' and sisters' names - Ruth, Mayega, Lugaju, Bosco, Namugera and Nabbale - but not their ages, as I was too young to remember. They all died within quite a short space of each other. I was left shocked and frightened at losing so many people in my family so quickly. I didn't really understand why they were all dying. Looking back, I realise how traumatised I was, and worried that the same could happen to me.

My other two sisters were called Eve and Jennifer. They were aged 15 and 17 when they died in a car accident. I was only eight or nine but I remember feeling very frightened, not knowing what might happen to me. I still miss all of them so much, and I still ask - why did this happen?

I was 13 when I went to live with my grandmother. She was already looking after eight young children - including my sister's children and my uncle's - all of them orphaned through Aids. Because I was the oldest I had to start working to provide for the family, as well as finding time to study. I also take care of my grandmother because she is old and sick. She has high blood pressure and often has a fever - maybe malaria.

I washed other people's clothes to get money to feed the family and the boys helped by fetching water. We worked mostly at weekends if we could spare the time and, altogether, would make about £1 which would have to last the week. We would have one meal a day - one kilo of maize meal - but that wasn't nearly enough to feed everyone.

I get up at 6 o'clock every morning to do the household chores - cleaning, washing dishes, fetching water. At 7 o'clock the children walk to school, half a kilometre away. I go to a nearby secretarial college. When I get back home to our house, which is in a suburb of a small town in the southern part of Uganda, I start preparing supper for everyone. The children return at 5pm and while they are waiting for their food they start working on our crops in a garden near the house; they each have their own job to do. After supper they do their homework and go to bed. We share mattresses - we have six between us in our three-roomed house.

I worry every day about what we will eat and whether any more children will come. Less than a year after I arrived, friends and family started to bring their little brothers and sisters who had lost their mothers through Aids, and soon there were 14 of us. In May last year my cousin brought her four-month-old baby, after her husband died of Aids. I looked after her for six months and then she came and took her away.

Things were particularly difficult around that time, especially when the children got sick and and we didn't have enough money for medicine. I think one of the children has Aids.

There are so many who live like us. I know lots of other young women like me who are looking after children who have lost their parents through Aids. And there are lots of children who have nowhere to go and no one to look after them.

So many people of my parents' generation have died of Aids. At first they died ignorant of the disease and how they might have prevented others from getting it. Now there is a lot of training designed to educate people, including methods of abstaining, being faithful and using condoms, and also informing people of the symptoms and what might be wrong with them.

Some ignore the safety advice and take risks. There are still many people who have the disease, although they may have contracted it some time ago. The incubation period can take several years. But I worry that one day I might get Aids too. I know there is medicine that can make people better but the people I know can't afford to buy it.

There are at least 1.7 million orphans in Uganda. Some of these children live on the streets, some are fostered, some institutionalised in homes and some live independently, like the children and me. I see them as my family. I don't think about getting married or having my own children; I'm so busy worrying about all of them and looking after them.

A couple of years ago, everything changed. We acquired a cow. We call her Rita. She came from a charity and has helped solve some big problems in our family. Everything she produces has helped us: we have enough milk for our family, and manure to help us grow much better vegetables than before. Now we can sell some and use the money to buy other food, school materials and medicine. We now have twice as much money coming in each week - about £2, on top of our own milk and vegetables. We depend for our vegetable crop on three or four months in the rainy season, and it has been unpredictably bad this year. But at least I am no longer borrowing money each week.

Rita has brought us respect in our town. She is pregnant by artificial insemination; if it is a female, the calf will eventually be given to help another family like ours where there are older children to help care for her. If it is a male we will raise it, then sell it. Other families with young children are given goats or poultry from the charity as they are a lot easier to manage.

But there are still so many challenges: men pester girls and offer them food or soap in return for sex. It has happened to a number of other children but I am tough. Having a cow means I can look after the children myself and keep these men away.

One man from our town said he loved me and wanted to marry me but I suspected he just wanted sex. They say the same things to my friends. They just want to take advantage of our situation. I don't have a boyfriend and neither do my friends. None of them are married, maybe because of Aids and the fact that they are still studying. Boyfriends destroy our futures, so we need to avoid them.

I have dreams of becoming a teacher and starting my own school. I missed being a child myself and initially found it very difficult to accept my situation, having to help other children all the time. But now I realise there are lots of other girls doing the same thing. All the children go to primary school, which is free, but before I pay for my teacher training I need to pay for their books and pens and uniform; they also need money for school dinners; and there are fees for secondary school. But I am sure I will do my training eventually.

Aids is everywhere and the threat of it affects everything, especially your relationships. Everyone is in the same boat, and that is what draws you close to each other. We are all young, we have all lost loved ones, we are all caring for others, so we all support one another. But it's hard coping with all the loss.

I worry that more children will come to us because they have lost their parents. Of course I would take them in. What else can I do?

· For more information about Send a Cow, go to their website: www.sendacow.org.uk

 

HIV: the facts

· There are approximately 40 million adults, including 3 million children, now living with HIV worldwide.

· In 2001, 12 countries in sub-Saharan Africa accounted for 70% of all orphans across the globe.

· There are 11 million children in sub-Saharan Africa who have been orphaned because of Aids.

· Between 2001-2010, it is estimated that the percentage of children orphaned by Aids as a proportion of all orphans will rise from 12.4% to 24%.

· At least 20 million people have died of the disease around the world since it was first identified.

· Source: UNAIDS, Unicef