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On Immoral Women, Sex And Caste - A Conversation

By Vaikhari Aryat

02 October, 2015

“So this girl and guy starts hanging out together in the campus. They go to Shop Com, have chai, talk endlessly, go to Gops, have lunch and dinner and talk endlessly, go to wherever they please and talk or don't talk. The girl is dark complexioned and guy is fairer. She is a dalit and he is an upper caste. Worst case scenario, a brahmin!! We must intervene. Must advise the girl! Must protect the girl!”

“Whoa whoa! Wait! Explain the logic behind it once please!”

“Can't you see? The girl is dalit and the guy is an upper caste! She is definitely going to be 'used' by him!! She should be warned!!”

“Used? Dalit? Upper caste?”

“Yes moron! Used! The brahmin is going to use the dalit girl! That's how it happens always!!”

“I understand your impeccable logic. There’s a whole history of casteist sexual abuse to prove your point. I won’t blame you for being paranoid. Hmm. Just that there are certain things I would like to state before you intervene in their business, whatever it is. Let’s see,

1. ''How did you know she is dalit and he is an upper caste/brahmin?''

''It is obvious from the skin tone moron! How dumb can you be?!!''

''OK. So dark skin makes one by default a dalit and fair skin makes one an upper caste by default. Right?''

''Well, No. I know it for a fact that the girl is dalit and the guy is the grandson of a famous brahmin from their state''

''OK. Sounds 'logical' now."

“How did you know that them hanging out together means he is going to 'use' her?”

''How thick can you be? Can't you see they are hanging out together day and night? This is supposed to mean they are doing it’’

‘’Doing what?’’

‘’Are you being an idiot purposefully? They are obviously doing IT!!’’

“Do you mean to say they are having sex?’’

“Damn it! How can you say that unholy word?!! And yes! That’s it! They are doing the S word’’

“But how do you know that for a fact? They could be just friends.”

“Friends?! Don’t make me laugh! Boys and girls can’t be friends yar. They are after only one thing, especially these upper caste men, if they hang out with a woman, if she is dalit particularly. There is a whole history of sexual abuses to prove my logic’’

“OK. Lets go by your logic. Let’s assume they are having sex. And I still don’t get why would that be a problem since they are adults who are well aware of what they are doing. They could even be in love’’

“Love? Don’t make me laugh! Upper caste men don’t ‘love’ dalit women. They are only after one thing. The S word.’’

“OK. Lets assume he is interested in sex alone. Well, I still don’t get what is wrong in it as long as she consents to it!!’’

“Aarghh! He is never going to marry her!!”

“So you are worried that they are having premarital sex, right?”

“Yes. He is using her’’

“I am sorry, even if they are PMSing, how would that mean he is ‘using’ her? And how would it be your business at all?”

“You are clearly an idiot. He is not going to marry her. He is using her for his pleasure. We need to stop her and save her”

“Did she ask you to?”

“No. That’s coz she doesn’t know the danger she is involved in. We must protect her. Out of our brotherly/sisterly concern!”

“So you are suggesting you know what is best for her, right?”

“Yes. she must be saved.”



“Your patronising attitude amaze me.”

“Patronising? What patronising? This is just brotherly/sisterly concern”

“Yeah yeah.. Well, I get it. So she is an object, which is used for the pleasure of the man alone, right? She doesn’t have any agency that determines her take on her sexual life or let alone, social life. Oh and all of these are coz she is dalit, right? Nice way of objectification, patronising and reverse casteism!’’

“That is a bit too hard way to put it but you do know these girls are idiots who fall prey to these upper caste men easily, right?’’

“OK. Nice logic. So dalit women are so easy. Hmm, so this girl, even if she consents for sex, she never takes pleasure in the sexual activity, you say? The pleasure is just for the man alone, you say? Have you ever paused to think that the girl could be using the guy for pleasure? Why can’t it be that way? She is a freakin 25 year old who knows what she is doing, after all! What if she isn’t looking for marriage?!’’

“What are you saying?!!! She can’t be.. I mean, he must be using her.. That’s how it should be! Women having pleasure? How can that work?! Women are the victim always!! And what do you mean she isn’t looking for marriage? All women want to get married! If she isn’t, then she is definitely a slut! ’’


“Well, last question. Would you bother going on ‘saving’ those dalit men who engage in sexual/non sexual relationships with upper caste/brahmin women around here?’’

“Why would I? That’s none of my business! Boys know how to take care of themselves. After all, they are boys and they have nothing to lose you see. It is these girls that we must save. They are the ones that fall prey to the false consciousness and get attracted to the immoral life styles of the upper caste men and women. And none of them get married to any of these upper caste men! They are all merely being used! They need to be saved from the impending doom!’’

“Hmm.. Good luck with your moral policing, patronising attitude. Keep subscribing to the brahminic hegemonic morality. Long live patriarchy!’’

“What did you just say? So you are this Indian feminist who try to corrupt these women by implanting upper caste upper class elite immoral feminist rubbish! Upper caste upper class elitist women like you are manipulating other women and make them smoke, drink, do drugs, fraternize with opposite sex in public and even spread the tabooed things like same sex love and transgenderism!! You don’t address the caste question or care about the dalit women issues at all!’’

“Er, I am a dalit myself. And yes, right to have all of that you mentioned are important too as much as any other issues. Right to loiter is very important, for a dalit woman, a caste/class privileged woman or for a dalit or non dalit transgender even! This campus is as much as ours as this is yours! And you are right. There is a systematic marginalization of the dalit question in the mainstream feminism and which is exactly why more and more dalit women need to occupy the space and raise their issues as well! You see, the category dalit isn’t homogeneous and therefore we need to address the gender question in dalit category and specifically that of trans people!”

“Save your lectures woman! You are not a dalit anymore. You upset my patriarchal privileges so much. Take your stamps of ‘false consciousness’, ‘brahminic elite imitations’ and ‘fake feminist identity’. Whatsoever you utter is invalid thereby.’’


“You are most welcome. Long live patriarchy!”


* Based on a true incident

*Shop Com and Gops are the major hang out places with eateries and shops in University of Hyderabad campus

Vaikhari Aryat is a research scholar in Political Science from University of Hyderabad.


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