New Year Wish List 2015
By Satya Sagar
01 January, 2015
Countercurrents.org
2014 was an extraordinarily turbulent year around the world.
The year saw the beginning of a new Cold War between the US and Russia over Ukraine; the birth of a new ‘Islamic state’ in Iraq and Syria; the brutal assault on Gaza by Israel; the exit of US troops from Afghanistan; a military coup in Thailand; the resurgence of the Tehrik-e-Taliban in Pakistan and the coming to power of the Hindu Taliban in India.
Given these dismal trends, it is difficult to expect 2015 to be very different. And yet, since the term ‘Happy’ in ‘Happy New Year’ is only an expression of hope and not a statement of reality it is always to imagine a better world in the future.
Here is my humble list of wishes for the coming ‘Happy New Year’:
1. US President Barack Obama is wrestled to the ground in a ‘chokehold’ by his own security staff, who mistake him for a candy store burglar who strayed into the White House.
2. Russian President Vladimir Putin single-handedly invades and reclaims Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania and then challenges Rajnikant to a showdown in public.
3. The United Kingdom holds a referendum asking for separation from the United States.
4. Germany decides to do away with both conventional and non-conventional sources of energy and run the country entirely on ‘Merkel Power’.
5. The Saudi royal family decides to step down and handover power to a council of elderly women, stop all production of oil and apologise to all Islamic countries for giving Islam a bad name all these years.
6. The Japanese government decides to evacuate much of Japan after confessing the Fukushima nuclear blowout of 2011 made large parts of the country unfit for human life. Very graciously China helps resettle the displaced people in the Gobi desert.
7. Google, Amazon and Facebook decide to become non-profit charities and donate all their profits to poor.
8. Mahinda Rajapaksa loses the Presidential elections in Sri Lanka and is packed off to face an international tribunal for war crimes.
9. The Vishwa Hindu Parishad organised hundreds of ships to sail to New York with all its followers to reclaim the Shiva lingam buried under the Statue of Liberty.
10. In an internal coup Narendra Modi is replaced by RSS chief Mohan Bhagwat as Prime Minister of India for being too ‘liberal’ and showing a fondness for Nehru jackets, playing foreign musical instruments, using Urdu words while speaking Hindi and being affectionate to women other than his legally wedded wife.
PS: Subramaniam Swamy is transported to Saturn while meddling around inside the Indian Space Research Organisation’s new space vehicle called ‘Saneeswaran’.
Satya Sagar is a public health activist and writer who can be reached at [email protected]
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