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Oh Munni, Why Were You Born In India To Face The Curse Of Widowhood?

By Vidya Bhushan Rawat

15 August, 2012
Countercurrents.org

A visit to Behmai village which came to news for massacre of 20 upper caste people by Phoolan Devi’s gang in 1981. A crime does not reduce its importance simply because it was committed by backward community women and the killers were upper castes. Behmai’s women were killed twice. Once when Phoolan gang made them widow and second when the Thakur community did not have the courage to challenge primitive socio-cultural practices that comes along with widowhood. Political parties as usual used it to promote their dubious agendas.

It was February 14th, 1981, but the day had no significance in terms of celebration as Valentine day. Nobody, ever know that this was day of love. Work was as usual going on. Women had gone to the fields with their men for the regular work. Village Behmai was the route of the dacoits in the steep ravines of Bundelkhand and Chambal.

Behmai village is situated in district Kanpur Dehat which is about 100 kilometer from Kanpur city. The nearest rural bazaar is Rajapur which is about 12 kilometer from the village, take almost an hour to reach by your own convenience even today. The roads are bumpy and ravines are simply awesome.

For me Behmai was an important landmark in the history of Phoolan Devi where she killed 20 innocent people, a number of them too young to understand anything wrong happened to her. The story of Phoolan and her family is a story of politics of caste and power in our country. It is the story of identities and the fictitious ‘respect’ in its name as Phoolan paid a price during her life for her innocence and probably being used by others but that story later. The universal fact in India is that we love our families but they turn out to be the biggest villains of our lives but it is true about Phoolan too though not much has been written about it.

Behmai is a small village which has about 200 villagers mostly the Thakurs. In 1981, it would have been much smaller yet was a village Panchayat which has now been shifted to Khoja Rampur, which is about 8 kilometer from Behmai. Thakurs constitute about 70% of this village which is infertile ravines and not much agriculture in it. Other communities in the village included Pal families who are shepherds, a single Brahmin family and a Bania family. This is not a highly fertile land hence relationship among different communities are quite amicable here. There is not a single Nishad or fishermen community family of Phoolan Devi, in the vicinity of 10 kilometers of this village and hence any caste question did not arise.

Rajendra Singh is now 54 years old and on that fateful day of 14th, 1981, he was a few kilometers away from his home when this incident happened. He says’, nobody survived that day who was at home. All those who were around were killed to the brutality of the dacoits. This was the main road for the dacoits that time and we were forced to feed them. He adds,’ I can understand some caste loyalty among people but we did not give shelter to anyone. Police was nonfunctional and the nearest police station was Sikandara which was about 18 kilometer from the place and reaching there was difficult.

So, at 2-230 pm around 30-40 people came with guns and asked everyone in the village to come at the outskirts of the village. When some young children asked as why not in the village, they were told to shut and come there. ‘ We want to talk to you as it is urgent’, said Phoolan. There was no voice of protest as people knew that any protest would be harmful to them. After the villagers were asked to sit on an open space at the backyard of the village and suddenly before they could foresee anything, the dacoit started firing from all the sides. People did not have time to run away. Some fell to bullets immediately while others later. No one was in the village. It was a very small village and most of the men and women were out, so there were youths and old people. In all 20 persons slaughtered and 5 people were injured. There were no medical facility nearby so many injured died later. None was in village. It was the Yadava community of the nearby villagers who came rushing after hearing the cries and fires. They identified people and placed the dead bodies in their respective homes and took the injured in their tractors to nearby hospital as many of them died before reaching the hospital.

Rajendra Singh refuse this to be a caste violence as he says there were two persons from Kachchi, OBC community and one Muslim too were killed. Nobody asked any one’s castes. These three people had gone to the village for constructing a house. So, two were labourers and one was a mason. But there might be a possibility that given the Phoolan gang’s animosity with the Thakur gangs of Dacoit, this village became victim of her wrath. It is also reported that Phoolan was allegedly raped by Lala Ram and other gangs in this village and people did not come for her rescue but this incident the villagers deny that anything had happened in their village. Of course, they say both the warring gangs led by the Thakur and Vikram Malllah used to force people provide them shelter and food but the villagers were not keen on them and hence they faced the wrath.

Nearly, 17 women turned widows and many of them have died now after living miserable life of isolation and humiliation at home. 12 widows lived a life of hell in this village. There are 84 Thakur villages in the locality and live in stringent primitive laws. They would not go and beg to the government for jobs and other facilities. No political party visited this village and the reality show that after this brutal massacre, people got a paltry sum of Rs 5000/- from state government and Rs 2,500/- from the Central government as compensation. No government schemes came here. Since the villages did not have huge votes so politicians did not dare to go them. Women in these Thakur localities live inside homes and do household work. Purdah is largely followed and all of them are frightened in violating the social customary practices.

Munni Devi was about 9 years of age when she was married to Lal Singh of this village, who was around 11 years of age. Munni hailed from a village Pal Sareni which was across Yamuna, around 2 kilometers from this village. She had never seen her husband as ‘Gauna’ the ritual of sending the married daughter to her husband had not been done. It is due to the factor that many time, marriages are arranged at a young age so that the relationship is confirmed when the girl is considered matured and capable physically, she is formally send off to husband’s place as wife. On that fateful day of 14th February, Lal Singh was in the village and was one of the killed to the brutality of the dacoits. As the news came to Munni’s village about the killing of Lal Singh, her life was hell. What does she know about family, marriage and life? She had lost her parents and was being looked after by her elder brothers. It is shocking to hear that even when this was not really a marriage, her brothers send her to husband’s place as a widow the very next day to see his dead face and participate in family rituals of dead man. What could be a bigger irony that in her ‘husband’s house, the only person that time was his father as his mother was not alive. For a young girl of 11 years age, living with father in law as a ‘widow’ cannot be imaginable. In one year’s time, her father in law also passed away making the miseries of life deeper and perhaps irreparable for her. Now, a young 12 years old widow has to live life on her own without any support from anywhere. The only assistance that came from government was Rs 30/- per months pension initially which she refused to take as going to Kanpur was more expensive than this pension. It is shameful how our political class, media and social activists did not take the issue further. It creates an image of impossibility and negativism among people. While Phoolan is appreciated that she took revenge of her but Munni could nothing as avenging your ‘own’ people who torture you is difficult and impossible. Phoolan too failed in that who looted her and exploited her.

Have we heard any brutality of the society where a woman who is not even formally married had to live her entire life crying weeping and in widowhood? At eleven years of age, a woman without any fault of her was forced into the curse of widowhood by her own family just because for the sake of ‘social’ ‘norms’ and ‘customs’. What is this society about that we make our head high?

When I reach Munni’s house, she sits there and her eyes says many things. She has lived her life in great distress, crying and weeping all these years. There is none who she would share her pain and agony. Meeting a man in this village of the Thakurs will make her boycotted in the village alone but all 84 villages where the Thakurs get their wards married. Munni’s niece is here with her and a bit argumentative. ‘ All you people come here and write about us all the stories but none could share our agonies’. You take our photographs and make us visible in the media but nothing changes here. There is no hospital, no road, no telephone, no pension for these people here. What has the government done here? No politician came here to wipe out our pain. ‘ I do understand the journalists using the stories to sensationalise thing rather than trying to help them. When people are frustrated and looted from all sides, their faith in the system, in the people collapse and they feel betrayed all the time. I do not want to take your photograph, as I am not here to make money out of your photographs… but I want to speak to you and share your agony so that tomorrow, other girls of our society can dare say things, so that their male members understand whether they are forcing their girls, daughters and sisters into a curse’, I said. And I see a glimpse of hope in her. She starts speaking to her when she realizes that I am not a ‘patrakar,’ a journalist, but a fellow activist struggling to do some of these writings for the benefit of the people. One can understand what does a journalist means for a common villager; it is simply ‘middlemen’ for the powerful.

‘You should speak up now’, I say. It is three thousand year when our women’s were forced to keep quiet and be the career of a vulgar culture which oppressed and humiliated them. Munni’s pain is unexplainable. You can only feel it if you are sensitive to human relationship and needs. How do you explain the life of a girl who lost her parents at 3 years of age and was forced into widowhood by her brothers at 11 years of age in the name of tradition? There is unwritten code of conduct. She does not speak anything her family, her brothers who probably are her only rescue at the moment. But the truth is that her brothers and relatives had no courage to stand up with her and say that though they moan the death of Lal Singh, they cannot send their sister to live her life like a widow all these years. We talk of widow remarriages and here we find people being forced into this by their own family. I felt only one things if her parents were alive, would they have forced her into this isolation and humiliation where she must have lived life being cursed.

Today, when we ask Munni to come out of her home and move ahead, it is impossible. People like you and me can say many things and claim our liberation but she has to live in the society there. Where is she going to do anything when she has no formal education, no one to put her head on and not to even think of any other man in her life as it is a curse, a blasphemy? I asked a young boy was why she could not marry again. He said,’ It is our tradition. We cannot think of marrying after husband’s death. That is our culture and self-respect. If anyone dare to do so, it would be impossible to get married in any of these 84 villages’, he says. I confront him that if a boy’s wife is lost or dies then how long you wait and pat come the answer from a woman sitting nearby that these people would not even wait for a month to get the new bride. ‘What can we do sir, this is our culture and tradition’, they say.

In the war for the honor of the community, innocent people were killed. We make people heroes in the name of community and oppression while they remain individual cases. There is no denying fact that Phoolan was victimized and those who victimized must be punished but for their crime, innocent lives were killed brutally. There is another reality that every crisis throws some solutions and those who do not opt for solutions in the crisis remained cage to their pasts, customs and traditions. The positive side, that I found in Behmai was that there was no hatred for Phoolan as I had expected as most of them felt that she was a pawn in the hands of others. The disgust was towards Mulayam Singh Yadav who despite being chief minister of the state did not come here. Of course, people felt betrayed as Phoolan became a Member of Parliament from Mirzapur who had little time for her family and own people.

While it is true that the government and political parties failed to reach the victims of the Behmai massacre victims as nobody knows about the status of the case in the court. Kanpur Dehat is the district now and yet there is no electricity in the villages. No widow pension, no ration card as everybody is APL and shockingly no sympathy with the villagers and widows. Are we brutal society where every discrimination and cry is based on our prejudiced mind where we keep conspicuous silence and make up our mind that a particular community is always villain and has always done wrong thing. That if it is victimized and killed do not get a mention in the media and no compensation provided to them.

Yes, Behmai’s Thakur community could have used this calamity as an opportunity by starting a social reform. They could have socially and culturally challenged the old aged taboos by widow remarriages which could have been of far reaching consequences. A calamity of that enormity could have provided them an opportunity to change the ridiculous rigidities of life in the name of traditions and customs. Nothing is impossible in this world as you need to listen to the sobs of a Munni or feel her pain and cry which may not be audible. You only need a heart, a sensitive heart to feel the pain, anguish of a person who is wronged from all the side. Oh, India, how long will you kill your women every day? It is time, when we stop talking about great laws, constitution and everything as it is Manusmriti which rules India, even today and we are victims of it. India need a greater social awakening so that Munni and girls like her get an opportunity to live their life in happiness and share her joys and sorrows with rest of the world.

Vidya Bhushan Rawat is a social and human rights activist. He blogs at www.manukhsi.blogspot.com twitter : freetohumanity skype : vbrawat Facebook : Vidya Bhushan Rawat




 

 


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