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It’s Fine To Beat Your Wife!

By Marianne de Nazareth

19 September, 2011
Countercurrents.org

Just a few days ago, Bangalore woke up to the news of a famous up and coming Kannada film star named Darshan who had been jailed after beating up his wife and threatening his child. Since his wife Vijayalakshmi , had lodged a police complaint that he allegedly assaulted her, he was jailed, but like the newspapers said, he was not a famous actor for nothing. Immediately he ‘collapsed’ in the hospital and a battery of tests were asked to be conducted on him.

Meanwhile Karnataka began to take sides, with surprisingly many taking the side of the actor who apparently had crores riding on him in unfinished films. Discussing the point in my class with my Post Graduate media Studies students, even they took sides. One of the kids said the actor was wrongly framed. That his family knew the couple very well personally and Vijayalakshmi was a horrid party animal who stayed out till weird hours of the morning leaving her child alone. Never mind if it’s a known fact that parties mandatorily wind up by 11:30 in Bangalore by the moral police.

The whole point about the issue which revolved around domestic violence and should a woman speak up or not was relegated to the bin. The discussion took every turn and twist in the class, about how urban women in India educated or not, are not allowed to renege on her marital vows by her own parents. They stick to marriages which are violent because of finger pointing and ‘what will society say’ attitudes. Obviously Vijayalakhsmi was driven to the wall before she screamed for help. She probably has been battered for years.

Reading up the details about the poll which was taken by Vijay Karnataka I am not surpirsed that Urban Karnataka has different takes on the Darshan-Vijayalakshmi-Nikita episode that hogged headlines for the past week. Thankfully, Mangalore and Bangalore strongly oppose the actor's behaviour while Hubli appears to give the star the benefit of doubt.

Bangalore, Mysore, Mangalore and Hubli the four cities that took the poll indicate that marriages in the city are not free from domestic violence. Shamefully most pollsters perceive that domestic violence is a non-criminal activity. Yet they condemn the wife-beating incident, says the survey conducted by the research house.

Actor Darshan was accused of assaulting his wife Vijayalakshmi and threatening her and their three-year-old son with a revolver on September 9 inside their plush car. The incident took place following an argument with his wife over his alleged relationship with fellow actress Nikita Thukral. Immediately Nikita was slapped with a three-year ban from the producers' association which after much column space taken up in the media, it was later revoked after industry seniors condemned it, calling it unjust.

On the criminality of Darshan's actions, more than half the pollsters believed it was a mistake. A marginally higher percentage of homemakers believed that Darshan's behaviour was not criminal. Homemakers as in women who keep the homefires burning like Vijayalakshmi did. But thankfully most Mangaloreans believed that Darshans behaviour was seriously criminal with 49% of pollsters there saying it was a very serious crime.

While most pollsters believed that domestic violence is not a criminal activity, a majority (70%) of pollsters felt that Darshan's behaviour was unacceptable. A significant percentage (26%) refrained from taking a position, and around 4% even went to the extent of agreeing with Darshan's behaviour. Bangalore and Mysore had Darshan's staunchest supporters with 7% of pollsters approving of his behaviour.

Amazingly a majority (68%) of pollsters believed that Vijayalakshmi should not have made the issue public. And 77% of youth pollsters believed domestic abuse should be kept within the four walls of a home and not have become public knowledge. This was against 62% of homemaker pollsters, but it seems there is little support for bringing cases of domestic abuse into the public domain. Only Bangalore had a significant number of pollsters (32%) who agreed with making Darshan's behaviour public.

A figure as high as 59% of Bangaloreans and 67% of Mangaloreans strongly felt that Darshan's assault on his wife would set a bad precedent, among the youth. But Hubli disagreed: two-thirds of the pollsters there believed that his behaviour would not set a bad example.

So what was the methodology behind this poll? 465 people were polled across Bangalore, Mysore, Hubli and Mangalore. The sample targeted two groups - homemakers (40%) and youth (60%). Probably because they were the easiest, stratified sampling was done to ensure the sample had the characteristics they were looking for, and that they were representative of the city’s population.

It is indeed a shame that people could even support this man, even if there was suggestion of his being provoked. As I write this Vijayalakshmi has retracted her statement and says she was not hurt by Darshan at all. This is 21st century India, where domestic violence seems to be acceptable and preferably pushed under the carpet. It’s ok to beat your wife but hush, don’t let the dogs out, keep the nastiness at home. So then, we should ask ourselves, where is all that talk about culture, that we Indians revere our mothers and that women are the Lakshmi’s of the home? I fear for Vijayalakshmi, she has a life time of beatings before her. And what are we doing about it? Taking polls and siding with the perpetrator.

(The writer is a media fellow with UNFCCC, UNEP and Robert Bosch Stiftung and is adjunct faculty in St Joseph’s PG College & COMMITS, Bangalore)

 

 

 



 


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