Scientists Search For New Earth-Like Planets,
Alien Life To Be Exploited By Capitalism
By Dustin Lewis
29 January, 2013
Countercurrents.org
A satire
Scientists from the United States and Europe are racing to find Earth-like planets and aliens life forms. Using high-powered telescopes and new methods for teasing information about far-away stars, they are search for new worlds for the expansion of capitalist social relations.
“The Earth is a small place. Besides the need to constantly develop new markets, numerous resources which we rely on are finite and being used up quicker than we typically realize," says Hank Bauer, a lead engineer on the U.S. Keplar satellite telescope.
"Really, besides pockets of Africa and the Amazon that are being recolonized as we speak, Antarctica which is inhabited by a few dozen scientists, and the deep seas, there are few places where capitalism has not attained hegemonic dominance. Space really is the next frontier.”
Scientists are also looking for signs of alien life forms, especially those with could be corralled into factories, mines, and agricultural fields to produce capital and consumer goods for terrestrial markets. Other researchers working with DuPine are hoping to find new life which, like insects for pigment, might have commercial applications.
“A growing yet aging population and demands for broad labor reforms have also hastened our search. Likewise with global poverty. This is a humanitarian mission in search of non-human intelligent beings we could potentially super-exploit for our collective benefit,” Bauer explains.
According to scientists, different physiological makeups of other life forms could be harnessed for different forms of labor and drive innovation. Some forms of life may be able to work in conditions otherwise too toxic or exhaustive even for Third World and immigrant labor.
Scientists also point out that because alien worlds do not contain human life, wars necessary to economically subjugate them will not constitute any formal violations of human rights.
Scientists are looking to the sky for other reasons as well.
“When shit hits the fans in some angry mob or Jacobin manner, or when the Earth eventually looses its ability to metabolize the toxins we are dumping into it, the wealthy and powerful will want somewhere to escape to,” say Hans Weissman, director of the European space agency.
Weissman's team is not simply looking for alien races for the Earth to collectively colonize. Instead, they think a better solution is to transplant the bourgeoisie to livable extra-terrestrial bases along with necessary communication and militarily technology. There, from a safe distance, Earth could be ruled over remotely. Plans are already in the works to begin infrastructure development on Mars for just such purposes.
“Logistically speaking, rather than searching out and conquering races which may be light years away and which may be of only limited use, it is much more realistic to transform parts of Mars or to build large bases on the moon. These could function as luxurious executive offices and residences for the known world's 1%,” says Weissman.
Weissman doesn't think searching out and conquering alien life is entirely unfeasible, “but right now we need to focus on the here and now.”
“At the moment, we might not be able to wage an interstellar war for planetary salvation. For the time being however, we can create habitable places off Earth and get people there. Our job isn't to assert humanity on a galactic scale but to protect capitalist class relations, after all."
Dustin Lewis is an independent writer and political analyst in the United States. He blogs at ghostsofthefuture.wordpress.com and contacted directly at dustin.reads.much[at]gmail[dot]com.
Comments are moderated
