Lies
And Outrages...
Would You Believe It?
By Robert Fisk
09 June, 2007
The
Independent
It was Israel which attacked
Egypt after Nasser closed the straits of Tiran
When I was a schoolboy, I
loved a column which regularly appeared in British papers called "Ripley's
Believe It or Not!". In a single rectangular box filled with naively
drawn illustrations, Ripley - Bob Ripley - would try to astonish his
readers with amazing facts:
"Believe It or Not,
in California, an entire museum is dedicated to candy dispensers ...
Believe It or Not, a County Kerry man possesses an orange that is 25
years old ... Believe It or Not, a weather researcher had his ashes
scattered on the eve of Hurricane Danielle 400 miles off the coast of
Miama, Florida." Etc, etc, etc.
Incredibly, Ripley's column
lives on, and there is even a collection of "Ripley Believe It
or Not" museums in the United States.
The problem, of course, is
that these are all extraordinary facts which will not offend anyone.
There are no suicide bombers in Ripley, no Israeli air strikes ("Believe
It or Not, 17,000 Lebanese and Palestinians, most of them civilians,
were killed in Israel's 1982 invasion of Lebanon"), no major casualty
tolls ("Believe It or Not, up to 650,000 Iraqis died in the four
years following the 2003 Anglo-American invasion of Iraq"). See
what I mean? Just a bit too close to the bone (or bones).
But I was reminded of dear
old Ripley when I was prowling through the articles marking the anniversary
of the 1967 Arab-Israeli war. Memoirs there have been aplenty, but I
think only the French press - in the shape of Le Monde Diplomatique
- was prepared to confront a bit of "Believe It or Not".
It recalled vividly - and
shamefully - how the world's newspapers covered the story of Egypt's
"aggression" against Israel. In reality - Believe It or Not
- it was Israel which attacked Egypt after Nasser closed the straits
of Tiran and ordered UN troops out of Sinai and Gaza following his vituperative
threats to destroy Israel. "The Egyptians attack Israel,"
France-Soir told its readers on 5 June 1967, a whopper so big that it
later amended its headline to "It's Middle East War!".
Quite so. Next day, the socialist
Le Populaire headlined its story "Attacked on all sides, Israel
resists victoriously". On the same day, Le Figaro carried an article
announcing that "the victory of the army of David is one of the
greatest of all time". Believe It or Not, the Second World War
- which might be counted one of the greatest of all time, had ended
only 22 years earlier.
Johnny Hallyday, France's
undie-able pop star, sang for 50,000 French supporters of Israel - for
whom solidarity was expressed in the French press by Serge Gainsbourg,
Juliette Gréco, Yves Montand, Simone Signoret, Valéry
Giscard d'Estaing and François Mitterand. Believe It or Not -
and you can believe it - Mitterand once received the coveted Francisque
medal from Pétain's Vichy collaborationists.
Only the president of France,
General de Gaulle, moved into political isolation by telling a press
conference several months later that Israel "is organising, on
the territories which it has taken, an occupation which cannot work
without oppression, repression and expulsions - and if there appears
resistance to this, it will in turn be called 'terrorism'". This
accurate prophecy earned reproof from the Nouvel Observateur - to the
effect that "Gaullist France has no friends; it has only interests".
And Believe It or Not, with the exception of one small Christian paper,
there was in the entire French press one missing word: Palestinians.
I owe it to the academic
Anicet Mobé Fansiama to remind me this week that - Believe It
or Not - Congolese troops from Belgium's immensely wealthy African colony
scored enormous victories over Italian troops in Africa during the Second
World War, capturing 15,000 prisoners, including nine generals. Called
"the Public Force" - a name which happily excluded the fact
that these heroes were black Congolese - the army mobilised 13,000 soldiers
and civilians to fight Vichy French colonies in Africa and deployed
in the Middle East - where they were positioned to defend Palestine
- as well as in Somalia, Madagascar, India and Burma.
Vast numbers of British and
American troops passed through the Congo as its wealth was transferred
to the war chests of the United States and Britain.
A US base was built at Kinshasa
to move oil to Allied troops fighting in the Middle East.
But - Believe It or Not -
when Congolese trade unions, whose members were requisitioned to perform
hard labour inside Belgium's colony by carrying agricultural and industrial
goods and military equipment, often on their backs, demanded higher
salaries, the Belgian authorities confronted their demonstrations with
rifle fire, shooting down 50 of their men.
At least 3,000 political
prisoners were deported for hard labour to a remote district of Congo.
Thus were those who gave their blood for Allied victory repaid. Or rather
not repaid. The four billion Belgian francs which was owed back to the
Congo - about £500m in today's money - was never handed over.
Believe It or Not.
So let's relax and return
to Ripley reality. "Believe It or Not, Russell Parsons of Hurricane,
West Virginia, has his funeral and cremation instructions tattooed on
his arm! ... Believe It or Not, in April 2007 (yes, these are new Ripleys)
a group of animal lovers paid nearly $3,400 to buy 300 lobsters from
a Maine fish market - then set them free back into the ocean! ... Believe
It or Not, in a hospital waiting room, 70 per cent of people suffer
from broken bones, 75 per cent are fatigued, 80 per cent have fevers.
What percentage of people must have all four ailments?" Believe
It or Not, I don't know. And oh yes, "Geta, Emperor of Rome AD189-212,
insisted upon alternative meals. A typical menu: partridge (perdix),
peacock (pavo), leek (porrum), beans (phaseoli), peach (persica), plum
(pruna) and melon (pepone)."
I guess after that, you just
have to throw up.
© 2007 Independent News
and Media Limited
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