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Girls Have Feelings Too

By Khalid Bashir

08 April, 2015
Countercurrents.org

“She must have been a bit of a loose character anyway , Cell phones in the hands of girls is what is causing trouble.”

“These things tend to happen from boys , after all they are boys’’.

If you live in Kashmir or India chances are you have heard the above lines. Despite deliberations on crimes against women, this "it-was-kind-of-her-fault" mindset refuses to die down. Sure, feminists scream and with media outrage we may shut down such people. However, deep down, the beliefs remain. Isn’t it ? In fact, it's not just men; a lot of women believe the same too.

Centuries have come, and centuries have gone, but the plight of women is not likely to change. Time has helplessly watched women suffering in the form of discrimination, oppression, exploitation, degradation, aggression, humiliation . Male violence against women is worldwide phenomenon. Fear of violence is an important factor in the lives of most women. Fear of violence is the cause of lack of participation in every sphere of life. There are various forms of crime against women. Sometimes it is even before birth, some times in the adulthood and other phrases of life.

Log into your social media Apps , the barrage of ‘ comments , likes, status updates , uploads’ will surely be of the gruesome act of acid attack in Srinagar to Delhi Rape case .Yes i am talking of a dehumanized , cowards who splashed acid on the face of a girl to rapists .What does that convey ; that “I am a male and having a muscle power or simply your are a female and be under my command . Typical male chauvinism . Don’t you dare to stand contradictory with my will or else be ready to bear consequences of hurting my ego .

She may be probably wondering what she had done worth this , will she retaliate in the same way and make life hell for him . Anyway , she won’t because she is a women and has any women up to now hurled back whatever was thrown on her . Today she is at the front page tomorrow on second and finally the more her scars and pain grows the more she will be far from justice . Won’t she ?

The jolt and horrible memories of rape case from shopain to Delhi hadn’t faded away that acid attack acted as a fuel to fire to already bruised body .I wonder what on earth drives us to do so . We are not taking the persons life away ; we are taking their right to live ; because they have a cruel society to face in future . We leave them with scars that will refuse to go away for lifetime.

Will society accept them .If Women of any conflict zone are raped , by oppressors why aren’t they given the respect of those who fell to bullets . Their own society turns away face from them . Why ? When rape , sexual assault, eve teasing , harassment happens why we always tell ‘victim’ to let it go and dump the atrocities . We seem to be getting into disease of bystanders effect.

Stringent laws are being brought into place to stop such happenings ,but will law help or do we need to go for ‘Swatch Mann’. Moral education comes handy when society is battered and bruised by evils . These issues become issues, for us ,only when ;media puts them in its agenda and does enough priming to make them long last and drive peoples conscience to streets.

We have Fathers that kill daughters in womb . The people issuing religious edicts against girls .As music becomes forbidden in Islam only when played on Guitar by girls. Don’t our boys play music in bands and we invite them on our late marriages . The new culture that has sprung up in Kashmir .

After marriage how many girls are able to carry on their jobs . Why she has to leave job and get involved in house chores . Why not men .? Many may raise fingers at this statement as it is un Islamic. But from our homes to buses what is Islamic ? What about our marriages ? The girl has a long list to follow to appease her in laws .Aren’t we going for a society where fornication will be cheap and marriage expensive ?

The important question is: Why do such attitudes prevail? Why do so many of our citizens believe women not behaving in a certain way are asking for trouble or are not "good girls"? What is the core fundamental issue here? More importantly, how do we convince them to think otherwise – Men are the protectors and maintainers of Women , ( Quran 4 : 34 ).One of the most important things we find in the Human Rights granted by Islam is that a women’s chastity has to be respected and protected under all circumstances .Whether we find her in backwoods or in a conquered city, whether she belongs to our religion or other religion . In Islam ‘as a mother paradise lies the beneath of her feet . As a daughter she opens up the gates of paradise for her parents and as a wife she completes the religion of her husband.’

Our respect for any women should elevate if she becomes a victim , because it is not her fault in any way . When she is married she is taunted for dowry , the person demanding beggary should be condemned not the one who couldn’t afford the insane ritual. What’s her fault in giving birth to a daughter , because it is man who is scientifically responsible . And those whose heads hung low when daughter is born , they must remember they too were born to someone’s daughter . Didn’t our prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said "He is Guaranteed paradise one who has 3 daughters & up-brings them well".

“A society that is unable to respect, protect and nurture its women and children loses its moral moorings and runs adrift.”

Khalid Bashir is a journalism student at kashmir university

 






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